The Poems I Wrote When I Was 12 (belated) Christmas Special

Well friends, another Christmas season has come and gone, and my intentions to post several of my holiday-themed poems failed to come to fruition while I was home. But by popular demand (sort of...), I am going to treat you all to one of my very favorites: a song about naked mole rats sung to the tune of "Oh Holy Night." So remember, don't read this to yourself, sing it to yourself (or preferably, sing it outloud so everyone around you can hear).

Oh NMR (to the tune of Oh Holy Night)

Oh NMR
Your veins are so apparent
But you're transparent
You squiggle and squirm.

Oh NMR
Your buck-teeth chew on cheese
'Till I appeared and I took it away

The thrill of hope as you try to get it back
You run around, not knowing where you're at

Ohhhhhhhh NMRrrrrr
You're duuuumb
And you're ugggggggly
You're stuuuuupid
And bliiiiind
NMRrrrr
You are so dumb

All hail!
The naaaaaaaaaaaaaked mole rat
Oh N-M-R

The best part is that I did not actually have to consult my poem book, as I have this committed entirely to memory. In fact, when Genny and I met for a poetry slam last weekend (more on that later), we sang this song with pride. If you want to hear how it goes, I will be happy to sing it for you. Seriously.