Introducing: Sappy Poems

I have withheld posting my really sappy, angsty, and/or morbid poems so far, because, well, they're embarrassing. But after a great poetry slam with friends in Portland two weeks ago, in which I had the courage to finally share some of these poems with other people, I realized that I'm sitting on a gold mine. I kid you not, these poems are hilarious. I was trying so, SO hard to be a serious poet and break away from my hokey-animal-tales style. But mostly I think I had just been reading way, way too much Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul (omg blatant Christian undertones!) and desperately wanted to relate to the stories of romance, heartbreak, and devastating loss that were so dramatically told in the Chicken Soup books. So I wrote poems like this:

Follow Your Heart*

She wasn't the most popular girl in school
She was nice, but to some she was considered "uncool"
Pretty in her own unique way
She was shy and quiet; had not much to say

He was smart and handsome, kind and tall
Good at sports and liked by all
He took special care of the things he loved
Whether it be a friend, or a baseball glove

She watched him from afar one day
She kept to herself and stood away
She noticed his eyes, a sparkling blue
Hers drawn to his like super glue

"I bet he doesn't even know I exist,"
She sighed, but how she longed to kiss
The thought of his lips upon hers
Made her smile, but she didn't have nerve

To tell him how she really felt
She thought it better left undealt
She went to her locker one week later
To drop off her books and grab some paper

She opened it up and to her surprise
A single rose lay inside
"Funny," she thought. "No tag or name.
I bet it's just a stupid game."

When she turned around, to her surprise
There he was, a look in his eyes
They've been together since that day
Their wedding is just weeks away

True love is found, it goes to show
In places that you'd never know
Follow your heart, stick to your dreams
And finding "the one" isn't as hard as it seems

OMFG I cannot believe I wrote those words!! And I can't believe I just admitted to writing those words, and then put them on the internet. But really, it would be selfish of me to keep that to myself, when I could be making people laugh. Or at least I hope you are laughing as much as I do every time I read that sappy poem, because it is not meant to be taken seriously. I mean, I assume that when I wrote it, it WAS meant to be taken seriously, imagining that I desperately longed for this to foreshadow an autobiographical account of some dreamy guy that would leave me roses in my locker. Although as it turns out, I did date this one guy in 10th grade who would always send me roses in class, and it was really awkward and obnoxious having to carry that crap around school all day. But how could I have known that in 7th grade!

So there you have it. 12-year-old Julia at her most vulnerable and exposed. If you think that was good, just wait. It gets better....

*In the actual poem book, the word "heart" is written as <3