New Guest Blogger: Too good to wait...

My new friend Isaac offered to share some of his teenage poetry and it's pretty amazing. Certainly lives up to the standards held on this blog for embarrassing adolescent versification. He has graciously shared many, many fine poems, which will be revealed here over time, but for his first guest post, I have to go with the one that made me laugh the most.

Untitled (by Isaac)

I once met a clown with a button red nose
Who said I'd meet a girl with a face like a rose
I snapped his suspenders and went on my way
All the while chuckling and saying "That'll be the day"

Well old clownypoo had a bit too much seltzer
And chased me down with his giant feet of thunder
"She'll have eyes like diamonds" he said with a start
I replied "Not freakin' likely, you senile old fart"

But the polka-dotted pauper, well he was persistent
And nipping at my heels he was in an instant
"She'll make you smile every time she talks"
I thought he'd had too many whiskeys on the rocks

So onward I went with speed, but so too did he
"She'll lump your throat and weaken your knees"
Trying to act macho, I said no woman could do that
He smirked and said "She will in two seconds flat"

So I asked old clowny how he knew so much
"I guess I was born with a magic touch"
I said "If you're so great, why've you got this job?"
He replied "My girl came and went, and now I'm a slob"

The regret in his eyes told me that it was true
So I bought us some coffee and a table for two
And the man laid it on me, a tale so somber
His empty-hearted words stay with me forever

"I had my chance and was too blind to see
I feared she loved another, and gave up easily
Don't do the same, my reluctant companion
'Cause that girl, I tell you, will be one in a million"

Now this young clown would like to say
He knows just what the old guy meant that day
Be my girl, make my knees weak
And let me smile every time you speak

Man, what I would have done to have access to the intimate inner-workings of the male teenage mind when I was in middle/high school. Thanks Isaac, for finally satisfying my curiosities!